


Everything's gonna be okay, kid

by Ravens_World



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 15:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21078983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravens_World/pseuds/Ravens_World
Summary: "It shouldn't be like that, Bobby. I shouldn't rely on you guys so much. It's not fair to you. You all have families, responsibilities. I'm not any of that."What I hope to, but probably won't get to, see in 3x05





	Everything's gonna be okay, kid

**Author's Note:**

> So, I just realized that I  
A) tagged this as bobby/buck which...just no.  
And  
B) forgot to add a summary lol..

"This is the last place I expected to find you."

Buck closed his eyes and hung his head. He'd come here for a breather, because his loft was starting to become suffocating. The beach should've been the last place Buck would even think about going to, considering what happened the last time he was here, but when he'd gotten in his car, no destination in mind, that was where he found himself. The first minutes he'd spent here were spent warding off a panic attack _and_ a breakdown. It hadn't been fun, but once those minutes passed, Buck had been able to breathe, for the first time in what felt like forever.

Bobby sat down next to him, and he resisted the urge to get up and just leave. He didn't know how to behave, not after everything that's happened.

"I talked to the chief. He told me what happened. Why'd you do it, Buck?"

Buck shook his head. "I don't know."

Bobby sighed and Buck resisted the urge to snap at him. Instead, he kept his mouth shut and just listened. "I want to understand you, I do. But, you're making it really hard, Buck."

He laughed, self-deprecating, and looked at Bobby for the first time since he got here. "According to almost everyone we know, I'm dumb, so it really shouldn't be _that_ hard to figure me out."

"Buck..." Bobby trailed off. He didn't say anything else, just looked at him with that look of quiet disapproval that Buck had always dreaded. Buck turned his attention back to the water, and he breathed in deeply.

"Why are you here, Bobby?"

"Because nobody's heard from you in a week. And you won't answer your phone."

Buck snorted. "I broke my phone, haven't gotten around to replacing it. But, you do know where I live, Bobby. You could've easily come to visit," he told him sarcastically. "Any of you could have."

Bobby was silent for a few seconds, then took a breath. "You're right." They stayed in relative silence for the better part of ten minutes, and though it was getting uncomfortable for Buck, he didn't break it. A few seconds later, Bobby did. "You haven't given me an answer, you know."

"I'm dumb isn't good enough for you?"

"No, it isn't," Bobby snapped. "Because you're not."

"Alright, here's your answer. You ready for it?"

"Buck."

Back shrugged. "Because I wanted to be a firefighter, and what he offered seemed like a consolation prize. I thought the fire marshal position was temporary, that's why I took it." he told him, and there was a tiredness in his bones that was _deep_.

"He guaranteed you'd have your job back, as soon you were cleared, though."

Buck scoffed and looked at him, then searched Bobby's face. There was a puzzled frown on his face, and Buck realized that he didn't know. He laughed. "You don't know."

Bobby's frown deepened and he pursed his lips. "What does that mean?"

"It means, he told me I could work as a firefighter, at some point, but it'll never be with the 118."

Bobby's eyes widened. "What?"

Buck looked away. "At least this wasn't your idea, too."

Bobby, with great effort if the vein popping in his forehead was a indication , ignored the dig. "Why didn't you agree?"

Buck dug his hands into his eyes and laughed. He laughed, loud and hysterical, until the laughter into gut wrenching sobs that tore their way out of his chest like knives.

"Buck!" Bobby moved closer, and he felt his hand on his shoulder. He shrugged him off. "Kid, come on. _Come here_."

Buck struggled against the arms around him, and he tried to get him to let go, but Bobby held on tighter. Eventually, the fight left him and he just slumped against the older man's chest. It took him a minute to realize Bobby was rocking him back and forth like a little kid, and when he did, fresh tears sprung to his eyes; he hadn't been comforted like this in so long. He pulled away from the embrace and avoided his former captain's eyes. "It felt like a punishment, " he answered Bobby's question. He cleared his throat. "He wanted this whole thing buried, wanted to shut me up, but he also wanted to send a message."

He said nothing, so Buck continued. "I made a mistake, I know that. But I didn't have my head on straight, Bobby. I was desperate and I was hurt and alone. It felt like I had no one,so I lashed out."

Bobby put his hand on Buck's head, and ruffled his hair gently. "That's not true, kid. You have us."

"Do I?"

Bobby stopped short, staring at him with wide eyes. "What?!"

"Do I have you?" Buck's voice cracked. "After the tsunami, how many times did you come to visit? How many times did you call, Bobby? How about Hen? Chimney? Huh? Even Eddie- the only times I saw him were when he dropped Christopher off and picked him up. But, I don't blame you, any of you."

"Buck-"

He held up a hand to cut him off. "Let me get this out?"

Bobby nodded, albeit reluctantly.

"It shouldn't be like that, Bobby. I shouldn't rely on you guys so much. It's not fair to you. You all have families, responsibilities. I'm not any of that."

"Hey!" Bobby held his chin and turned his face towards his. Buck was shocked to see his eyes were filled with tears, but what truly surprised him was the sheer anger on his face. "You are a part of my family, do you understand me? And you did make a mistake by filing that lawsuit, kid, but it wasn't just on you. You're right, we do have responsibilities, but we should've made the time for you." Buck had started crying again at some point, and Bobby wiped his tears away. "I should've sat you down and explained things. I stand by my decision, but I shouldn't have sprung it all on you like that. I just wasn't thinking straight, either, kid." Now it was Bobby's turn to avoid his eyes. "I didn't want you back before you were off the blood thinners for good because I was terrified of what could happen to you. I let my feelings cloud my judgment and I'm sorry for that," he admitted.

Buck leaned into the older man and wrapped his arms around him. He buried his face in his chest, and Bobby held him tightly, his hand stroking his hair gently. Buck wondered if this was what a father's hug was supposed to be like. "Thank you for saying that," he whispered. "And I'm sorry, too, Bobby. I'm so goddamn sorry."

Bobby nodded against his head. "I know you are, kid, I know." He patted his back, and Buck took it as a signal to pull away. He wiped his eyes, and smiled shyly at Bobby, a bit embarrassed to have cried on him twice in the span of less than thirty minutes.

"Buck."  
  
He snapped to attention, knowing that when Bobby used this tone, it meant business. "Yeah, cap?" He winced when it slipped out, but Bobby just smiled fondly.

"I will fight for you to get back to where you belong, do you hear me?"

Buck nodded and his breath caught. Bobby smiled softly. "I hear you."

"You just focus on yourself, get better, think things through, and know that you have a lot of people in your corner willing to fight for you."

Buck sniffed and blinked rapidly. He refused to cry a third time today. "Thank you."

"You never have to thank me for looking after you." Bobby squeezed the nape of his neck gently. "_Everything' gonna be okay, kid."_


End file.
